I'm suffering from a dearth of ideas. I dunno wad to write for my thesis. I have to come up with hypotheses and back them up with theories. This is so sickening. Psychology will never be a hard science. I rather follow wad other arts disciplines are doing. If I can't think of a topic, den I shall have to forgo my thesis. Choosing psychology was a mistake. But I guess given my disposition almost anything else would have been a mistake. Life is so miserable. I dunno where I'm heading. No one really gives a damn. Sometimes when I see couples behaving intimately, I ask why not me? I can feel the pain in my heart. 5 years ago, when the army psychiatrist asked me if I had suicidal thoughts, I gave an emphatic no. I dun think I can answer with that much certainty now if I were given this same question. This is not to say I'm going to kill myself soon. I probably am too afraid to die.

I wish people can be more honest and straightforward.